What is infrastructure? It’s a big question. I mean it’s not as big as ‘what is life?’ or ‘why are we here?’ or ‘who let the dogs out?’ (yes, people are still asking that annoying question); but nevertheless it’s a big question.

So then what is this thing that we call infrastructure? Infrastructure is the stuff that needs to be done to keep the city/province/country running properly but isn’t really exciting. Things like fixing sewer lines, repairing bridges, and the like. Basically infrastructure makes things boring. For example, a bridge collapsing is really exciting. There are pictures and news stories and fingers pointed. But if a bridge doesn’t collapse that’s not exciting. How often can the TV news run a story on a bridge that’s not collapsing? “Bill, I’m reporting here beside the Hammond Street Bridge and it’s still standing, apparently in no danger of collapsing, but just in case I’ll be here as I’ve been for the past 379 days because if something does happen, I Witness News will be there.”

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Maybe it’s just me – wait – why are you nodding already, how can you know that it’s just me if you don’t know what it is I’m talking about – maybe you’ll even agree with me – I mean it’s possible isn’t it. OK, I’m going to start again.

Maybe it’s just me but I think we’ve lost the meaning of ‘sharing.’ Sharing is something that you do with popcorn or peanuts or pizza or potato chips (admittedly you might also share things that aren’t food and start with the letter ‘p’ but that’s what’s top of mind for me when I think of sharing). We share things with people that are of some value and that they might want.

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I think I’m having an existential crisis. The reason I say that “I think I’m having an existential crisis” is because I’m not sure I really know what an existential crisis is. It does seem like something serous though, doesn’t it. I mean the word ‘exist’ is in existential and exist is a serious word.

I remember that in university I studied some guys from France who were called existentialists and wrote about existentialism. Again, I’m not sure I really understood it, but it seemed important and significant. I do remember that one of them, Jean-Paul Sartre, wrote a play called No Exit. The play is almost always described as making the point that “Hell is other people.” Now I didn’t need to go to university to learn that “Hell is other people.” As far as I was concerned “Hell is other people” was the motto of my high school (admittedly I might be mistaken about whether that actually was the motto of my high school, but I am not mistaken that I thought it was the motto of my high school).

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I was watching TV over the holidays and noticed that the networks were heavily promoting their winter season. One of the terms used to describe episodes of current series that were being broadcast in the New Year was “all new.”

Initially I misheard the announcer and thought he said the episodes were “all nude.” I did think that was certainly a reason to watch the shows, if only for a few minutes. Not all the shows mind you, but some of them. I did think that Masterchef Canada probably shouldn’t be done in the nude because you know, cooking, hot grease, knives, etc., nudity sounds like a risky strategy, although perhaps fans of NASCAR racing where you’re just waiting for disaster to strike might have a reason to watch.

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What do we really know about Druids? I certainly know very little about them and I’m much too busy (or perhaps make that much too lazy) to do any research about them. Yet at this time of year I find my mind turns on occasion to Druids.

I suppose it’s because what little I know about Druids, or what misinformation I have picked up about them, suggests that the winter solstice was a really big deal for them. And yes, I know that there are present day Druids so I probably shouldn’t say the solstice WAS a big deal for them because I’m sure it’s STILL a big deal for them – gathering around the solstice tree, singing solstice songs, drinking mulled something or other – but those are the modern day Druids.

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As I’m sure almost all of you are aware, Toronto recently had its election for mayor. Much ink was spilled discussing the election, contemplating the results, pontificating on its meaning. Despite all that has been said about the election, the real point has been missed. Let me explain.

The three top vote getters in the election were, in order, Tory, Ford and Chow. Despite the emphasis on what made the candidates different there were at least two important things that they shared. First, all of their last names were four letters long. Second, all of their last names were also nouns (a proper noun in one case). It is also true that two of the names were verbs but we’ll leave that for the moment. On top of that, the previous mayor, also a Ford but a different Ford from the one that ended up running (it can get confusing) had a four letter proper noun name.

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I’ve been thinking recently about what it is that makes Canada unique. The struggle to define Canadian identity is of course one that has been going on since Canada became a country. It has engaged the minds of some of the smartest women and men in this country – some of the dumbest too – take a bow Don Cherry.

Now I am hardly among the smartest people in this country (and I can see all the heads of those reading this little missive nodding in agreement at this point) but I think I have something to contribute to this debate. I think Canada should be known as a nation of turtle smugglers. That’s right, turtle smuggling.

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I often find myself at a loss when someone asks me to describe the music of our band (I am here of course referring to Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room, whose next gig I will shortly announce). Before I discuss how I try to resolve this dilemma, you may be wondering how it is that anyone comes to inquire about the music of the Living Room at all. It’s not as though we’re particularly well known – although we do have videos on YouTube most of which have over 100 hits and one of which is in the four digits – putting it behind any video with a cat but ahead (just barely) of the guy who reviews power tools in Swedish while wearing a panda bear costume.

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Ever since there was rock n’ roll there have been warnings from doctors, gleefully picked up and disseminated by the media, about the dangers of this evil music. Rock n’ roll encouraged dancing which, well you know what that leads to; and then there were the tight pants on the boys and the girls which, well you know what that leads to; and then the volume and the lights etc.,, etc., etc.

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